After Death Communications - My Personal Experiences

My girlfriends spirit kept telling me that she wasn't going to 'rest in peace' until I learned to forgive the gunman whose error had caused her death. My thought was - she had lost her mind when she died. I was not willing to think, talk or entertain the idea of forgiving her murderer. I told,

"Good luck to you. I don't even think God has a snowball's chance in hell getting me talked into offer my forgiveness to a slimball murderer. No way."

It was strange how I would go to sleep at night and argue with her spirit in dreams about that subject and then wake up and cry because of the pain, anger, hate and grief I was walking with. It was horrible for my mind and like a poision slowly driving me crazy. I was asking God in my meditaions and prayer to relieve me of my pain. She kept making fun of me because I was too stuborn to take her word at the remedy for my pain. She would end the argument by telling me to keep praying for God to bring me the answer.

I had moved back to the city and made new friends. All my new friends knew of my situation and were understanding. One day I stubbed my toe walking across the room. I started screaming and went into a rage. I blamed the murderer for stubbing my toe and the pain it caused me. My friends told me,

"Dave, you need help."

When the pain and anger came - I tried to relieve it by fantazing how I would end the life of the murderer. I had all sorts of wild ideas of watching he die a slow and very painful death. An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.

My girlfriends spirit was telling me that I had been infected with the same 'hate and anger' that had lead to her demise and if I didn't rid myself of it quickly - then I was in danger of spreading the same 'hate and anger' to another unsuspecting victim. She kept telling me that I was quilty of the same sin he had fallen into the trap of. Harboring anger and hatred like a boil hidden inside waiting to explode at the most inconvinant moment.

One day - my friends and I went to the hosptial to visit a new born birthed by one of our young friends. I was standing at the maturnity ward and feeling sorry for myself as usual. I was thinking how I probally never would find another woman to fall in love with and have children of my own. I started wondering about the fate of the newborns in the window. I wondered which would turn out to be murderers and cause pain in the world - and which ones would follow a path of goodness. I heard the spirit of my girlfriend's voice behind me whispering into my ear.

"Go ahead. Go ahead while those children have the innocense of God's love for them fresh on their faces. Pick out one and dump all your hatred and anger on them like your dumping it on the one who made the mistake with me. What if I could tell you which one was going to grow up and make mistakes that causes other people pain and hurt. Do you want to rid the world of that by taking that child out back and ending it's life in this world before it gets started. Do you have the right to judge one of God's children in your limited state of mind and understanding?"

It hit me like a ton of bricks. I hadn't been thinking of what that 'murderer' looked like through the eyes of God. He was one of God's children who had lost his way in a very confusing and dark world. The 'spirit of my girfriend' had been telling me,

"The one he hurt the worst was himself. When the time comes - he will feel every once of pain he caused by his actions. You owe it to him to help relieve him of his pain. Forgive him in God's name and bring him relief from his own inner torment and pain - as you God will bring an end to your own inner torment and pain. What you give away in God's name - comes back to you in God's name."

I turned to look at her. I usally didn't turn to look behind me when she spoke because it was too hard to see her in her glory and then have it disappear from my sight when she left back to the spirit world. This time I turned and looked.

She was standing next to a Shinning White Being of enormous Light and Glory. I forgave the murderer in that moment and I felt a substance being poured into me from above. It was like a cleanser that took away all the pain, hurt, anger and suffering and replaced it with joy, peace and happiness.

The last thing I heard her say was,

"Finally, I can rest in peace."

I burst out in tears at the maturnity ward. My friends came running. I couldn't explain it. I just kept muttering Samantha's name and they felt they understood. It wasn't tears of sadness, greif or loss. It was total joy. I hadn't felt that type of joy since the day she died.

It was as if everything I had been through in the last six months had been worth it - just to feel that overwhelming cleansing that went on inside of me. It was a renewal and I don't know if I could or would have appreciated the feeling if I hadn't been without it for so long.

It was the last time I had a 'visual ADC' with her. I felt she was beautiful when she was in the world inhabiting the physical body but nothing compared to the beauty that shinned and radiated out from her that day. She was beaming later when her spirit visited me in dreams.

After the concert - I felt it was the end of a chapter and wanted to put her memory aside and live on - in an effort to make her proud of me when the time came. I had the memories fresh on my mind of the many talks we had shared during that year after her death.

One of the things she had discussed with me was the two 'grief periods' hidden behind he wall of amnesia I walked with. She told me,

"My role in your life is to help you gain the strenght to look back on two losses that led you to your death in the car accident. On a scale of one to ten - you just went through a one with me. When you lost the two in your past - you went through a ten. The worst it yet to come. You are going to have to look back on the web of pain you have hidden away behind the veil of amnesia that keeps you safe from something that would overwhelm you with grief beyond anything you have a memory of with me."

I couldn't imagine having to go through pain ten time worst than what I had been through in that year.

She had always been right in the past. Year later (when the amnesia was lifted) I found out she was right again.