1988 Near Death Experience

Relapse

In the summer of 1988 I stayed up all night with some friends in a weekend celebration. I went to bed around 8:00 AM in the morning. I was woke up shortly after by a friend looking for a cigarette. I was extremely tired and half asleep. I told him that I didn't have one to give him. He had a reputation as having a short temper. He got angry with me. He started calling me a liar and throwing a fit of anger. I was startled by his anger. I jumped out of bed in an effort to wake myself up. He took my fast movement as an act of aggression. He stepped back and put his fists up. The sight of this just made me laugh. 

I asked, 

"What the heck is your problem? Do you know how silly you look in my eyes right now? What are you going off about over a dang cigarette?"

He went on to repeat his claim that he felt I was lying to him. I went on to tell him that he was allowing his anger to make a silly fool out of him. Some where in the midst of it -- he took a swing at me. I saw the swing coming and tried to step back out of the way. In the process, I tripped over my foot and fell toward a bed. I gently landed on the side of the mattress. I was laughing as I went down. I thought I would make a dramatic point by play acting and staging a death. 

I had been trying to talk to the young 18 year for some time. The young man was blind to my past. I knew a young man who lost control of himself in anger in my past He picked up a pistol and shot a girl I was very close to. The young teenager was not aware how close I was to the girl he shot. He considered himself a good friend to me. When he found out that he had hurt me with his deed --- he begged me to forgive. I was never able to forgive him in person and it took many months to search my heart and find forgiveness for him. I knew the harm anger could bring into a young man's life. My own as well as another. I thought I would address that point in my confrontation with the young man that summer morning in 1988. 

I started gasping for air and clutched my chest. I rolled over in an over in melodramatic effort to express a death scene. I finally kicked my feet up in the air --- stretched my arms out and let them drop in a final dramatic move to express the loss of life. I laid motionless on the ground as he went on ranting and raving. 

"YOUR not hurt. Your faking it. See what a lair you are. Your such a lair -- you can't even fake it right that your hurt. You can't be hurt. I didn't even touch you." 

He was right -- he only slightly clipped the tip of my shoulder. I was out to illustrate a point I knew all to well of in my past. I laid there motionless until I couldn't contain myself and my laughter anymore. I let out a burst of laughter and couldn't stop. 

"What is so dang funny?" 

"You -- when you find out what you allowed get you in an uproar. Go on over there and take a look for yourself." 

I pointed at the pack of cigarettes up under the bed. He walked over and looked inside. 

"All you got is one. I don't want to take your last one." 

"EXACTLY! What did I say? I don't have ONE to give you. If I would have had two -- I would have had ONE to give you." 

"No-- you said you didn't' t have any. If you would have told me the truth - none of this would have happened." 

I just started laughing. I could believe his blindness and anger where still ruling his emotions. I just kept laughing. 

A scene started to develop as the other guests come into the bedroom to see what all the noise was about. One of them asked, 

"What the heck is going on in here?" 

I said, 

"He is trying to kill me with his anger over a dang cigarette. A cigarette I didn't have to give him." 

The young man was intimidated by the fact I was getting sympathy from the group because I was laying on the floor. 

"HE is a DANG liar. I didn't try to kill him." 

"You could of. You was carrying on like a dang lunatic. A raving madman over a cigarette." 

He had no idea the reason for the death of my girlfriend. The official report stated that a young 15 year was angered by the fact that a 17 year old sales clerk refused to sell him a pack of cigarettes. The young man returned to his uncles house, picked up a 357 Magnum, returned to the store, shot the clerk in the head three times and left the store with a pack of cigarettes. I knew all to well that anger could motivate an individual to murder very easily. 

He kept hollering at me to get up off the floor. I went to put my hands in front of me in an effort to push myself off the floor into an up right position. I was still laughing very hard. (My idea was to keep laughter in the room where so much hostility was being expressed.) I got about midway and something exploded in me. I dropped back to the floor like a rock. I could not breath. What ever exploded inside of me was now shooting fire all though my chest. I felt like someone had jumped up in the air and stomped on my back. I was trying to turn over to see who was stomping on my back. There was no one there -- but I could feel pounding, throbbing pain on my back. 

I had a shocked look on my face. The young man gave into calling me names again. From his point of view -- he felt I was putting on another over dramatic show to gain the sympathy of the rest of the gang. I was trying to get over the shock and then the horror set in. I could not talk. I didn't have enough breath inside of me to form words to express the pain I was feeling. I knew I was in serious trouble. Something had happened internally. My mind was on the edge of knowledge I didn't know existed. I knew instantly within seconds that I was about to die. The guys gave into mocking and teasing me. All I could do was cry. Tears where rolling down my eyes. I was crying because they were blind to the truth. They were going to spend the last moments before my death -- hurting themselves more than they were hurting me. When the truth of my death hit them -- they would realize the pain they had brought down on themselves. 

I knew I had to get help on the way. I don't know where the strength came from. It was like an invisible arm I reached out with though thin air. I grabbed a hold of my best friends shirt collar. It was not a physical movement as it was an invisible force I utilized. I pulled him toward me. (He later told me he was shocked. He felt himself being pulled toward me by an invisible force and he could not stop.) I got his ears down to my lips and silently whispered, 

"If you ever want to see me alive in this world again -- you better call an ambulance--- because I am about to die -- NOW." 

He took off running. Then the pain became so intense that I blacked out. The last thing I could remember was seeing my friend running out of the room. The next thing I could tell -- I was raising up off the ground. I felt great. I felt refreshed. I was shocked to look up and see the faces on my friends. I caught a glimpse of "dark shadows of creatures" standing next to them all. When I raised up -- the creatures looked at me with hate. Then something happened that made the creatures take of running. The young man who had started the ruckus -- feel to his knees. He said, 

"OH God NO -- what have I done?" 

I asked him, 

"What did you do?" 

He ignored me. I felt great. I could talk again. I didn't feel no pain. I looked around at the other 7 people in the room. The all had a look of shocked horror on their faces. I turned to look at what they were looking at. I saw a body flopping on the ground. My thought was,

"Who the heck is that -- and where did he come from?" 

Then I saw something come out of the mouth of the body laying on the ground. I was shocked at the sight of it myself. I turned to look at the others to gather their reaction. Just then my best friend came in. He looked over at the body laying on the ground with blood streaming out of the nostrils and mouth. (There was also a brown speckled balloon like fleshy piece coming out of the mouth.) My best friend fell to his knees and started crawling toward the body on the ground. He was screaming hysteria. The other people were trying to hold him back.

That is when I started seeing things not normal to regular sight. That is when I realized the body on the ground had been my body. My spirit was no longer attached to the body. I was outside looking in. All of a sudden -- I could remember doing this sort of thing in the past. I rushed to my friends side and tried to calm him down. He was beside him self in grief. I could see the love of our friendship pouring out of his inner heart and soul. It was a spectacular array of lights and colors flowing though in midst. It was coming from all of them -- but his was the most intense and offered the biggest array of colors and sparkling glittering light. I was trying to calm him and the other young man down. 

"I am okay. I have done this sort of thing before. I am alright. I am just alive out side of the shadow body. That is not me. Here I am. I am right beside you." 

It was frustrating. They just kept ignoring me. I keep thinking to myself about the blindness human minds walk with toward ghosts and spirits. There was no doubt in my mind I was in my ghost body. About that time, I heard my name being called. When I heard it -- I thought, 

"Who in the world knows to call me that? That is my real name." 

I turned around and instantly recognized the "being of light" from my other near death experience in 1978.  It was like seeing a long lost friend.