Childhood NDE's: Grandma Sighting my Spirit
The condition was diagnosed and the Doctors gave my parents no hope that I was going to survive it. From their medical and trained point of view - it was only a matter of time before I had an attack and not be able to come back to life. This caused a great deal of stress and emotional trauma for my parents and family members.
I was being 'told' something different on the other side. I had 'spirit guides' who I would met up with on the other side during the loss of vital signs as well as during dreams while I slept at night. I felt the 'spirit guides' were kin to me in hidden way. I was confused when my parents had no idea who I was talking about when I mentioned the 'invisible friends' who were walking with me at all times. I couldn't always see them or hear them - but they promised me that they would be with me. Sort of like holding on to my hands as I learned to walk with the painful condition hidden inside of me.
I didn't understand why my parents were crying. I was the one in physical pain and couldn't comprehend the emotional and psychological pain coming to them. I was a child and there was a perverse pleasure attached to their tears. As a child, I had memories of the years of punishment or times I had been led to tears due to their actions. It bothered me to watch them cry about the ordeal we were involved in - but - it didn't break my heart any.
When I saw my Grandmother break down in tears before me - that broke my young little heart. I couldn't stand to see her shedding tears over the situation. At the age of 6 and 7 - I had no idea what a 'spirit' was and my family wasn't in a hurry to try and teach me what a spirit was. So - I had to use my own childish mind and understanding to find parables to express the guidance I was receiving on the other side. Dealing with the possible death of a child was traumatic for everyone close to me.
I was constantly having 'loss of vital' signs. I knew that my Grandmother was my Dad's mother and he had to mind her. I felt if I could convince her to take my word on the matter and believe what I was being told on the other side - then - I felt she could convince my Dad and Mom to stop worrying as much.
My Dad had told her the stories about the hospital visits and how I had described being a 'ghost' wondering the halls at night greeting those who were coming into the world as well as bidding those who were leaving farewell. My Grandmother had it in her mind that I would be a 'lost soul' wondering the halls of hospitals haunting people if I died as a child. She told me,
"Your too young to be in this world alone trying to fend for yourself - much less in the world beyond. If you could convince me that your being looked after by caring souls on the other side - it would help me ease my mind SOME. Not all the way - but some."
I can't recall if it was her or myself that came up with the idea of 'showing' myself when I left the body during one of my "NDE" episodes. I told her,
"I can do that with ease."
She told me that her mind was old and stubborn and she didn't know how the sight of me was going to convince her fully that she had seen an apparition of my actual spirit. She said the sight of me wouldn't be enough for her mind. She asked if I could tell her what she was wearing when I came. I told her I could retain memories for as long as I needed them and if she spoke to me - I could repeat what ever words she spoke. She is the one that came up with an idea of showing me a photograph. I told her that I would hide around a corner and expose only my 'head and shoulders' and then she would know that my 'long john' body was there. I took to calling my 'invisible spiritual body' the 'long john body.' My Grandmother didn't want to see a formless shadow of light similar to Casper. She said that would frighten her more than relieve her of her worries. She said that unless she saw the face she had came to know - she wouldn't be satisfied. I had no idea what I looked like outside of my body. I wouldn't be able to see myself in mirrors because I had tried. I went by the idea that people always seemed to describe me as a child so I felt I knew how to keep my vibrations at that level. (The near death experiences were different from the out of body experiences.) I told her I would get help on the other side to make sure I showed up looking like myself and not like Casper. I told her that to make it fun for me - I would play hid and seek to see if she could find me after I had shown myself to her. She said that she would have the windows and doors locked. She said the first thing she would do if she saw the sight of me poking my head around the corner was to check the doors and windows to verify that I hadn't crawled through an open window or slipped in through an unlocked door. She told me to to record and remember exactly what rooms she went into - in order.
Then she told me that she would pick out a photograph randomly. She said she wouldn't even have an idea of what photograph she was going to show my 'invisible ghost of a body' until that incident happened.
While I was trying to set this up with my Grandmother - I told her about the 'Real Santa.' That was my moniker for who I would radiate back to during my out of body travel into the light. We talked about it for awhile and she had her own moniker. She called that one the "Lord." I told her it didn't matter what you called that one as long as she put a 'wish' into the 'air' for that one to pick up on and act upon. She had to say the wish in secret and silence - and then - it would open up the door for our experiment to work. I told her,
"I can't do this without permission. Just like I have to answer to my Mom and Dad here in this world, in the other world I travel to - I have another Mom and Dad. When this comes to pass - you have to know it is them you have to give your thanks to. We can't do this unless they give us their say so."
I didn't understand it at the time - but the word I was giving to use by the 'spirit guides' was a gift. It was a gift to have her questions answered the way it was going to be answered. As a child, I didn't understand this and asked my Grandmother to explain it to me. This was added verification that I was talking to someone with an intelligent mind beyond my own understanding.
I told my Grandmother to call me as soon as the game of 'hide and seek' was over because sometimes I would forget things that took place when I was outside of my body. I felt it was better for her to talk to me as soon as I regained consciousness.
I had an episode and my parents were by my side while I kicked, screamed, cried and then lost consciousness. My parents were falling into a routine of holding their breath waiting for me to catch my breath again after I lost consciousness. While my parents were sitting beside the bed waiting for me to catch my breath again - my spirit slipped out of the body and went on a trip to the light. Itw as on my return that I showed up in my Grandmother's house.
She had a dog at the time. She was sitting on the couch reading magazines and the newspaper. She had several magazines beside her while she rested her feet near the dog. The dog started barking and acting up. She led him outside because she thought he was trying to tell her he had a call of nature. when she sat back on the couch - I poked my head around the hallway entrance into the living room and said,
"Peek a boo. I see you. do you see me?"
My Grandmother gasped and shook from the startle of my spiritual presence. She started calling out my name and I stayed hidden behind the doorway. I told her,
"You got to come find me. Remember. It is time to play hide and seek."
I heard her saying,
"My word. My word, this is really happening."
She got up and went from room to room, closet to closet, window to window and door to door. After she had checked the entire house, she sat back down on the couch and kept saying how hard it was to believe. She looked at the magazines and then started talking to me as she flipped through the magazines looking for a photograph. She was saying how she wanted to find just the right one. When she found it - she laid it on the ground and then scooted it across the carpet into the middle of the floor. She had found a photograph with a Latin inscription on an archway above a door. She said,
"This may be a little hard. There are letters in the photograph. I know you know your ABC's so I want you to remember as many of the letters as you can. When I call you - I want you to tell me the letters in order. Start with first letter and remember as many as you can. I will give you a few minutes and then I am going to call your house. Try and let me know when your done so I know when to call."
My spirit was hovering around the photograph and I was studying everything I could about it. When I got finished - I reached my spiritual hand to the magazine and pushed it back toward my Grandmother. I did this without thinking. I was trying to let my Grandmother know that I was finished with the book. We had arranged on a five minute waiting period for me to get back into my body.
When the magazine took off toward my Grandmother she raised up her feet and gasped like she had seen a mouse. I started looking around for a mouse. I had it in my mind that I was going to follow it into it's hole and see if it had mouse furniture like the cartoons. I was busy looking for a mouse when I realized that my Grandmother had been startled by the sight of the magazine flying at her 'by itself.' She was telling me to be careful and not knock over anything on my way out.
I zoomed back into the scene of house. My parents had gone into the living room. They would usually do this after I lost consciousness because it was too hard on their sight. They would leave the door open and light on - waiting for me to cough back to life again. I would always ask for a glass of water and they had the glass sitting by the side of the bed. This became our routine. It was too hard on my mind to wake up and see my parents crying when I woke up. I had told them it was easier for me to snap back if I saw their smiling and happy faces instead of being shocked by the sight of their sad faces.
I didn't call out to them like normal. Instead - I ran straight to the phone and stood there. My parents were shocked and wanted to know if it was me or if they were seeing things. I told them I was back in my body adn waiting for my Grandma to call me. It was late at night and my parents were telling me that she had no reason to call at that late hour. I told them she was going to call within five minutes. My parents were trying to urge me back into bed for rest. I told them I had things on my mind and I didn't want to forget them before I spoke to my Grandma. As we were arguing the point - the telephone rang. I heard my Dad say,
"He is standing right here waiting for you to call. Yes, he was out for awhile. Lost his breath just like before. A sorry sight to see just as it was in the Doctors office. He wasn't breathing for awhile. Here, he is jumping up and down like he has to go to the bathroom. If he don't talk to you soon - he says he is going to forget what he has in mind to tell you."
I told her I could do better than letters. I told her the phase and prounonced it in a sentence. I then explained to her what the Latin phase meant in English. She asked how I had decipherer that on my own and I told her,
"I told you, I have friends. They told me what it meant before I got back into my body again."
It was important for me to hear laugher after my painful condition and adjusting to the physical body again. My Grandmother and I were laughing about her reacting like a mouse was after her when the magazine came after her. Every thing was verified. My Dad later told me,
"I don't know how your doing it Son -- but you got your Grandma convinced that you was in her house moving things around while me and your Mom was looking at you not breathing. Of course, there is a doubt lingering in our minds because we left you alone for a while."
There was no doubt I had been there - but whether in the physical body or outside of it was the question in their minds.
My parents had already caught sight of my 'spirit' leaving and returning. They had told me they couldn't figure out if all my talk had them imagining it due to all my talk - or if it was an actual sighting of my spirit. My parents said,
"It is unsettling to the mind and sense. If you are doing it - then - hide yourself."
That is where the code of 'naked body' came into play. My parents had told me that if I was coming back then I was to hide my 'skinless' body as much as possible. My Dad had told me,
"If you know your not coming back - and your going to leave us for good - then take as much time to show yourself to us if you can - and give us a memory we can hold onto that we were able to say our farewells before you leave this world."
My parents had established an understanding with me that if the worst scenario did come and I wasn't able to get back into my body and had to leave this world - they didn't want me to haunt them for the rest of their lives. They felt it was hurt them too much to see me in a helpless childish state for the rest of their lives.
This incident was a stepping stone effort to help convince my family that from what I could see from the other side - I wasn't going to end up as a 'child's ghost' haunting them the rest of their lives. At the age of 7, I knew that I was going to lose my breath (and vital signs) for a short time - a great deal during my childhood days but I was going to eventually grow up and put the past behind me. I didn't know how to put this into words my family could hold onto with belief. The Doctors were convincing them that I only had a short period of time left in the world.