Young Adult Soulmate Case: Girlfriend

The World Stopped

I had been asked to work a shift at another store.  I walked in not knowing what was about to hit me.  I looked up to see a young 17 year old girl standing behind a counter and stopped in my tracks.   What happened to me next was beyond words to describe.   I felt the world had stopped so suddenly my inside body was flung out into the heavens.  It was like a 'mini' walking, waking moment of a 'near death experience.'  My spirit left my body and in doing so, left my physical body standing in that store with it's mouth hanging wide open and my eyes bulging out of my head.    It stole my breath away and my breath went on a trip around the universe in what seemed like a million year moment. 

I was confused when I blinked my eyes - and spent a million years in eternity - and then blinked my eyes again and found myself right back in time in the same moment were I left off. 

I saw her spirit doing the same thing.  It was out and about dancing in heaven with me - whooping and hollering the whole way.  Yet - when she spoke - she acted as if none of it had happened.  

I tried to talk to her about it - but either she was playing dumb and testing me - or - she was totally deaf dumb and blind to what had just happened between our inner hearts and souls.  

I had never met a 'female' reincarnated soulmate before.  Between guys, you could let your hair down and ease into it with a delicate touch.   You didn't talk about the 'love' involved with that sort of friendship between guys.  Guys just masked it and said something like a 'deep friendship' with profound feelings attached to it.  I had never mentioned the four letter word - love.   It would get to confusing for young minds to attach that sort of word to it. 

So - with a girl - it was different from the get go.  She was avoiding that 'feeling' or 'word' like the plague on the outside of her.  She was playing the game of 'hard to get' and felt I had to prove myself in some sort of game or ritual.  I played along.  

She felt we were rushing into it too quick for her taste.  She told me to slow down, smell the roses and take it easy.  

Unlike any other soulmate encounter in my past (now that I have hindsight) I had never had a connection as strong as hers as far as 'telepathy' was concerned.   I could hear her 'inside voice' load and clear.  I didn't see here 'inner Casper' pop out during our conversations but I could her the 'silent whispers' coming from her inner heart.  It was like an echo being around her all the time.   There was teh verbal voice coming from the physical body and then there was the 'spiritual voice' coming to me in a silent tone that I could hear just as vividly as her physical voice.  I told her that she was constantly confusing me.   She would express a point of view on the outside and on the inside - her spiritual voice would contradicted her.   I once told her,

"Your a walking, talking contradiction.  I can't figure out if your coming from the left or the right.  Your a damn stereo with two different songs coming out of each speaker.  I don't know which one is which half the time. I wish you two would get together inside yourself and come to some sort of agreement before you drag me in between the two of you."

She asked who I was talking about.  I told her,

"Your ghost.  Haven't you ever heard the saying - giving up the ghost?  Well, before you give up your ghost, where do you think it is before you give it up.  Your 'ghost' is talking to me and always contradicting ever word that comes out of your mouth.   Your 'ghost' is telling me secrets about you."

She asked what mental institution I had escaped from. I found it very hard to approach the metaphysical aspect with her mind.  She avoided the topic of the love that had came between us on a conscious level - even though she was fully aware of it and it showed through her as much as through me.   Everyone around us saw the Cupid's arrow stuck out of our hearts for one another.   At one point I asked her to explain what she felt it was that had came between us in the short time that it did.  She told me that she felt we were 'kindred spirits.'  I asked her to explain that rational from her own mind.   She told me,

"I think a kindred spirit is sort of like God in the kitchen of creation creating a batch of souls one batch at a time just like making cookies. He has his creation in mind and has to experiment with the tools at hand.  He has a table full of cookie cutters.  He uses the same cookie cutter on a batch of souls and when he feels he created enough from that batch - then he puts the cookie cutter aside and goes on to the next batch.   But in our case - I think God cut a couple of cookies - took a good look at the two and then said, 'hell- that is enough of that kind' and toss the cookie cutter aside to move on to the next batch.  I believe in heaven -we are two a kind and unlike any other batch that came out of God's kitchen of creation." 

 It was one of the last conversations we had before she herself passed away.  She broke my heart into a thousand pieces when she left this world.   Her spirit continued to come to me in visits to help me pick up the pieces of my broken heart to mend it enough to move forward without her in this world with me.

For many years to come - I got confused by her worldly metaphor to mean that we were the prime examples of Plato's theory of what some call 'split aparts' or 'primordial soul pairs.'    Two of a kind and no other like it.  Oddly enough - it was her spirit that came to me in dreams and visions trying to correct my misunderstanding.   I thought of her as the 'other half' of my heart.   The idea of the 'twin spirit' being the other 'half' of the inner heart just didn't register in my mind in a romantic notion of love. To me, the 'twin spirit' was like a 'divine sibling' where the focus was on 'God's plan' for humanity rather than being the 'other half' of the heart to romance while in the world.   I thought of my 'spirit' twin like an angel to me.   My young friend thought of his 'spiritual twin' as an divine angel.  It was hard to wrap your mind around getting 'turned on' to that sort of 'divine love' the same way I had been working myself up to with my girlfriend while she was alive in the world. 

Her spirit was working to set my mind straight on the concept, theme, knowledge and truth regarding the matter.  At my young age, I thought her spirit was just saying 'thing's' to help me get over the grief of your loss.   Everyone referred to our romance as that of Romeo and Juliet.  Much like Romeo - I had lost the the will to live after she died.  Her spirit was trying to talk me into gaining back the 'will to live' without her in the world.  In my mind - she was my Juliet to my Romeo, and my Eve to my Adam.

So I began on my quest to understand the 'twin soul' aspect without any idea that the 'twin of the soul' in spirit was the same thing Plato had referenced when writing about the 'split apart' theory 2500 years ago.  To me - the twin had it's own half of the heart in another and I had my half of my inner heart in another.  I didn't feel that we were the other 'halves' of each other's hearts.  

My girlfriends spirit told me that my mind and focus was on the world of man and that I had my 'head up my arse' and was walking with a stubborn mind.   Truth didn't depend on my belief for something to be true.  Truth was what it was regardless of what I choose to belief or dis-believe.   Her spirit said that my path was on a course to meet her 'other half' in spirit - who was still alive in human form.   She said that during that time period together with her 'spirit twin' - I would be able to study the aspects for it myself firsthand. 

See:  Soul Twin: Others - Girlfriend & Minstrel